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5 Things I Want My Oldest Daughter To Know

5 Things I want my oldest Daughter to know

5 Things I Want my Oldest Daughter to Know

She’s smart. She’s silly. She’s full of sass. My daughter is so much of me. From her painful shyness around strangers to her love of drawing and reading. She is so much of what I was at her age.

My oldest daughter. My first baby.

My best friend.

Someday your little sister might be more like us, but for now it’s me and you – twins, 24 years apart. These are all things I’ve learned in my 30 years of life. So much of it I feel you may struggle with as well. These are 5 important things I want you to know:

1. Shyness

Don’t be scared to speak up. Being shy is normal, but it sucks. I feel like I missed out on so much fun by being too shy when I was younger. The more you step outside your comfort zone, the easier it gets.

You don’t believe me now that I used to be just as shy as you, but I was. It took a long time to get where I am today, so I hope you will be able to get there sooner. Take little steps. Ask a question. Give a compliment. Force yourself to speak up around new people until it no longer seems so out of the ordinary.

2. Mom Guilt

Someday you might have kids of your own and suffer from what I call Mom Guilt. That’s where you feel bad over little (or big) mistakes you make concerning your children.

It’s where you think of things you could’ve done better. How you should’ve spent more time paying attention to the kids. How you could’ve been a better mom at that moment. Don’t fall into the mom guilt trap. Feel bad for a few minutes and move on. Chances are, the thing you’re stressing about, the children won’t remember.

On the other hand, savor your kids. Love the little moments. Be present. Be silly. Take pictures. Get messy. Make good memories. Don’t look back and wish you had.

3. Love

Don’t be afraid to love. Sometimes it’s amazing, sometimes it’s full of hurt and pain but someday it will be worth it.

Find someone who makes you happy and make them happy in return. Make sacrifices. Compromise. Love and marriage is not only one of the hardest things we do, it’s also the best.

Love is totally non-sensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost, and love is dead, and humanity just packed in. Because┬álove is the best thing we do. ” – Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

4. Money

Use it wisely. Beware of shopping addictions. It runs in your family and I hope it never rubs off on you. Learn to save then reward. Not reward first with plans to save later. It doesn’t work that way. Make good money choices early on and you’ll have so much more money freedom later. Avoid debt wherever you can.

5. Education

Get your high school education. No matter what. Whatever you do afterwards is up to you, but at least go that far.

If you want to go to college or university afterwards, make sure that you feel strongly about what you want to be. It’s hard to know at 18 what you want to spend the rest of your life doing.

As someone who took schooling for jobs I never followed, I would encourage you to take time off before getting a post-secondary education if you’re not sure.

Education isn’t cheap.

5 Things I want my oldest Daughter to know

As my final advice – Be silly, be sweet, be affectionate, be tough. You are so full of spark and creativity. I hope you never lose it. Keep being you.

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2 thoughts on “5 Things I Want My Oldest Daughter To Know

  1. Hi, Venassa, this is such a beautiful “letter” to your daughter. I hope when it gets the right time, she takes the time to read and reflect on that. The advice on money is spot on!

  2. This is beautiful! You seem to be an amazing mom and your daughter is lucky to have you!

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